Combining & Creating Your Own Family Traditions After the Wedding

31. May, 2011

Combining & Creating Your Own Family Traditions After The Wedding

by~Melissa Roundy Barney

Family traditions are an important part of relationships. It is important that you consider not only your own family traditions but your soon to be spouse’s as well. Creating a balance of his, hers & ours in traditions just might be a challenge. Here are a few tips for you on how to create the perfect balance & making sure you both keep the traditions you want & how you can create new ones that important to your new relationship.

1. Share family traditions with each other~ This is the perfect time to talk about what your traditions are, what you want them to be & talk about what traditions are most important to you. Discussing these things prior to the wedding can really help you get a better idea of what you & your fiance expect after you get married. Talking about holiday traditions, religious traditions & family traditions are all important. What are your expectations & what are his/hers? It is best if you know before you get married that you want to go home every week to eat dinner with your family & if that isn’t a tradition that works for you, discuss it.

2. Compromise~ Sometimes traditions are like rules, made to be broken. That being the case, when there are traditions that you or your fiance doesn’t want to keep then talk about it & create a solution. There has to be some give & take in your relationship to make it work. So make sure you aren’t always taking or giving for that matter. Equal compromise is the key. If there comes a time when you can’t seem to come up with a solution then make sure you really share your feelings about the tradition you want to keep so that there is understanding. Both of you must share your feelings why you want it & why the other does not. Listen, Learn & then come up with a solution that works for you both.

3. Create your own traditions~ The best part of family traditions is that not only do you bring your own in the relationship & so does your fiance but now you get the chance to create your very own. Becoming your own family & creating something new & wonderful is just what marriage is about. Whether you want to take your favorite parts of both families & make your own or just start from scratch it is all up to you. There are no rules. This is the perfect time for you to be creative & make your own family traditions.

4. Marry the family & their traditions~ When you get married, you aren’t just marrying the man or woman. You marry the entire family. That includes their family traditions. Having respect for your fiance’s family & their traditions is going to be extremely important throughout your marriage. This won’t always be an easy thing to carry out. You may have times when you don’t want to attend something that your fiance or spouse wants to attend. Be sure to allow them to go even if you opt not to & don’t give them the guilt trip for wanting to spend time with their family members. It is important to keep those relationships alive as well. Having respect not only for your spouse but for their family is essential in making & keeping a happy marriage.

I want to stress the importance of sharing your life not only with your spouse to be but with their family. That includes sharing your traditions with them when possible & joining in on their traditions as well. Enjoy each other, learn from each other & create with each other. You don’t have to take away their child, you can give them a new one by becoming a fantastic daughter or son in law. I hope that you will enjoy spending time with your future in laws & be part of some amazing & beautiful family traditions as well as create new ones.

Wishing you & your fiance all the best in your new transitions.

Photography by~Swensen Photography