Are You Really Ready to Get Married?
The love part we’re sure of. It’s true and real and forever. Plus we’re cute, and we look good together. Our families get along, and we’ve agreed upon the names of our future kids Alice and Owen. Middle names still need to be further discussed…
Well, the middle names of your future children definitely need to be squared away, but what else haven’t you determined as a soon-to-be married couple? Financial conversations and talks about religion are intimidating, yet imperative. Discussions about how to raise a family and talks about coalescing individual, long-term goals and ambitions are must-dos.
Become a power couple who’s in it for the long-haul, or ’til death do us part, by reaching agreements on the following logistics and answers to the following questions. A little spontaneity and unpredictability can make a marriage go round, but unexpectedly revealing monumental surprises years down the road can make a marriage go sour.
Financial Logistics Full Disclosure
“The combining of financial assets.” “The shared bank account.” DailyFinance.com contributor Ross Kenneth Urken explains that couples must address the financial future. Couples can’t “afford” to avoid the topic of mutually deposited funds, a shared budget and financial histories. Yes, marriage is an expression of true love, but more so a permanent partnership. Joining checking, savings and retirement accounts, also known as “fiscal transparency,” provides the relationship with trust. Full monetary disclosure also creates trust. Couples are urged to divulge financial histories as well as student loan and credit card debts. Stewart Welch III, author of “The 10 Minute Guide to Personal Finances for Newlyweds” strongly encourages engaged couples to discuss assets, liabilities, future expenses, income and budgeting. Also, will you use and share credit cards? Would acquiring credit card insurance, a security shield or LifeLock identity protection be in your best interest? Financial disclosure and mastering the logistics will help eliminate future power struggles and unexpected monetary surprises resulting in resentmentpossibly divorce.
QA’s Honest Dialogue
The future success of a marriage rests on having zero doubts and 100 percent confidence before vows are exchanged and “I do’s” are said. CNN.com compiled a list of questions that engaged couples should honestly ask, answer and agree upon before standing at the altar. Are you and your fiance prepared to to open up about the following?
- Will both of us work and while raising a family? Will one partner stay at home to be with the children? Will kids go to daycare?
- Are we both supportive of each other’s career goals and ambitions? Would we make sacrifice for the other?
- Are we comfortable, communicative and satisfied with the sexual aspects of our relationship?
- What will be our domestic roles and responsibilities?
- What will our eating habits be like? Who will cook and grocery shop?
- Do we share the same outlooks on health and fitness?
- How much time will we share with extended family?
- What type of upbringing do we want to provide for our children? What morals do we want to instill in our children?
- Do we share a religious affiliation? Do we have religious and spiritual devotion? How much does religion play a role in raising a family?
True love? Check. Settled your financial trajectory? Check. Engage in honest dialogue? Check. You’re on the path for a successful marriage.