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“Friendship, Laughter and Sexual Communication: Underrated Key Ingredients For a Successful Marriage”

Aubrey Boone

Just a quick glimpse at the various marriage success stories in Yahoo Shine’s article “25 Secrets to a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship” reveals some interesting patterns regarding what it takes to stay happy in relationships.

Laughter, Sacrifice and Friendship

Many of the married couples’ quotes from the Shine article are warm and lighthearted:

“Always find things to laugh about. Laugh together… …Things go wrong. But if you find ways to laugh about “it”, you’ll form a special bond and can overcome anything!” said Dawn from San Francisco, California.

One husband revealed his secret to marriage success, which unexpectedly involved interior design:

“A key to success was my willingness to give up the home décor I had brought into our relationship” confessed Steve from Irvine, California. Steve, whose been married to Barbara for 24 years, went on to explain that some of the sacrifices included his neon-light beer signs and a Jethro Tull poster.

Many of the other spouses pridefully explain that it’s the close friendship and relaxed nature that have allowed the couples to stay in long, healthy marriages. It’s also apparent from the article that their bonds have been solidified by open communication, compromise and trust.

Creating Time for Communication

Communication is the foundation of any relationship. For a marriage to be successful, it must be free flowing at all times. Keeping the flames of passion and romance alive is crucial. This can be difficult when there are so many distracting forces attempting to keep married couples from connecting with each other. With the stress of working overtime, kids running amok and everyday chores, it can be a challenge finding opportunities to spend quality time with your spouse. Ed Young, a critically acclaimed author and pastor, has an interesting take on marriage communication, intimacy and romance: Sexperiment.

A “Sexperiment” for Married Couples

The New York Times Best Seller “Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse” is a collaborative effort between Ed Young and his wife, Lisa Young. Ed and Lisa wanted to come up with a creative way to help married couples come closer together by re-igniting their romance. The book encourages couples to focus on the experience of having sex regularly by doing a “sexperiment” and having sex for seven days straight. Young mentions on his website, “It’s time for couples to break down the barriers keeping them from a healthy sexual relationship.” He goes on to mention that “Sexperiment” will help couples realize the intersection of God and sex, and how it will bring more thrill to their lives. The Grapevine, Texas-based public figure addresses topics of family, community and relationships.

Reviving The Knot

Even though 90 percent of Americans end up getting married, according to a Huffington Post article, it seems that lately there have been negative sentiments about tying the knot. Many single people have the idea that marriages don’t last anymore, that they’re “out” or a bad idea. As Karl Pillemer, professor of Human Development at Cornell University, wrote in the previously mentioned Huffington Post article, “…More than ever, marriage is seen as threatened.” He reminds us that around half of all marriages in the U.S. end up in divorce.

Marriage may seem like a gamble in 2012, but if you heed the words of experienced married couples and keep the communication and passion alive, your chances of staying together are much better. Finding that special someone who shares similar interests and who will ultimately become your best friend is the recipe for a healthy, lasting marriage. A good balance of verbal and sexual communication is essential to keeping the spark going after tying the knot. Marriage is about enjoying one another, learning from each other and experiencing the excitement of life together.

Aubrey Boone Aubrey studied in Los Angeles with some of the finest chefs. She started documenting her experiences and now contributes to various foodie blogs.

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