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Jul
2008
Davina Fear Photography
Brides and grooms want to express their love for each other beyond the traditional vows of “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” You want to speak words that will show your witnesses just how much you care for the other.
So, you write your own vows.
This can be a beautiful addition to your wedding ceremony, but if can also be pretty frightening. Writers’ block, natural shyness: these things make you doubt your ability to express yourself verbally. But you needn’t worry, with a few tips, you can find words to tell your bride or groom all you vow to do. After checking with your officiant if he or she will allow vows to be exchanged, it’s time to find inspiration. (They may also want to read over your vows before the wedding.)
Where to find inspiration
After reading many ideas on the best way to come up with and write your vows, these tips are the best.
1. Don’t write your vows, speak them: Record yourself speaking how you feel and everything you vow to do. Don’t worry about the words or phrasing. Take your time and speak from your heart. Replay the recording and pick out the phrases that best say what you want to say.
2. Don’t use clichés: You don’t want to say the same thing everyone else has said, and many clichés don’t have sincerity because of overuse. Find new and original ways to say the same old things. Instead of “you complete me,” try “you make me whole” or “without you, my life is empty.”
3. Be simple: You don’t have to have the biggest vocabulary or the longest vows to express everything you feel. Be straightforward and avoid long, complicated words. Chances are most of your guests won’t know what prodigious love is.
4. Borrow from song, poetry or prose: If you cannot find the right words on your own, it’s alright to borrow. If you and your groom have a song that best says what you want, go ahead and use it. Even non-traditional love songs can be effective: ” I want somebody to share the rest of my life…I want somebody who cares for me passionately with every thought and with every breath.” (Depeche Mode: Somebody) Books are also a great place for inspiration. You can adapt meaningful portions of books that have touched you, such as this:
“…it’ll be as if the sun came to shine on my life.
I shall know the sound of a step that’ll be different from all the others.
…Yours will call me, like music…
And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder?
…The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad.
But you have hair that is the color of gold…
The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you.
And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…” The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
5. Be on the same page: Do you want to write your vows separately or write them together? If you write them apart, will you be showing each other before the wedding? Writing them together may help inspire you both.
Use these five tips to get started on writing your own vows and your wedding ceremony will be unique and personal.
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Topics: Wedding Advice |
September 26th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Great article about writing your own vows! As a Planner, I see much this trend isn’t so much a trend as a movement. It’s personal, unique and important for you to write what’s important to you.
If you can’t find the right words you can always consider a speechwriter but first try it on your own.
And remember, inspiration, however it comes… WILL come!
Congratulations!